“But wait, if Putin’s offering a congratulatory handshake to Joe Biden, then what is Trump eating pellets out of?” — JIMMY KIMMEL “‘I am ready for interaction and contacts with you.’ That’s actually what Mike Pence said on his honeymoon.” — JIMMY FALLON “Seriously, guys, what a weird phrase: ‘I am ready for interaction and contacts with you.’ Sounds like Mike Pence getting frisky.” — TREVOR NOAH 