Paula grew up in foster care, and year after year she would find herself “clobbered by desire” when the holidays rolled around. She longed for a mother and father to rescue her and “make everything better”; she wished for the hip-huggers and games she saw on TV.

When she was 21, she met a man named Jeff who ruptured this annual cycle of desire. He became the inspiration for a hard-earned Christmas lesson.

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“What did love feel like to you as a child?” Daniel Jones asked Paula at the end of episode. Paula recalled getting dropped off at her first foster home, with clothes and garbage bags. “It doesn’t feel like love,” she said. “It’s like everything is bent on trying to figure out these people just to make sure they don’t give you away again.”